My beautiful friend, after three and a half years battling
Lymphoma, you slipped away peacefully. You fought tooth and nail all the way to
have more time with your loved ones, but it wasn’t to be. I feel extremely
selfish as I can feel your absence already with all the things I want to talk
to you about, that big hug I want to be able to give you, that night out on the
grog we spoke about, those shopping trips we won’t get to have (could we shop
or what!). Selfish because if I miss you already as your friend, I cannot begin
to fathom what you beautiful family is feeling. Selfish because these things
seem so small compared to your epic battle.
I really need to tell you some things I didn’t get to say
last time and I know some of them you already know, but I still need to say
them:
Firstly and you already know this, but you have raised three
of the most awesome children together with William. They are beautiful,
brilliant children and will be all the stronger and more compassionate for
watching how hard and courageously you fought this battle. Be proud AM and we
all know you are and will always be watching over them and you have left them
in safe hands. Will is a wonderful father, you taught him well :)
Secondly you fought this battle with so much determination
and courage. You were simply inspirational to so many, especially me. Your positive
attitude shone thought. There was no “why me” or “poor me” but “Let’s kick this
thing in the arse”. Sometimes your courage faltered but you regathered and
regrouped and fought harder.
Thirdly thank you for so many wonderful memories. From puddle
dancing at the Injune pub to going to the movies and watching “the Preacher’s
Wife” ( no sex, violence or swearing and somehow so therapeutic) when we had the worst day at work; from having the absolutely best joint birthday
party (cops came twice and everything) to having the most wonderfully supportive
bridesmaid(who may have got a little too much satisfaction out of my very first
proper hangover); from watching Dusk to Dawn (and freaking ourselves out) to baby sitting that cute little bundle that is
now a 6ft teenager. Most especially thank you for coming with me to Eddie’s scan
in Brisbane when I was quite terrified. “It will be so lovely to see a baby
scan instead of a cancer one” you said. Eddie will now have a Godmother with a
direct link the lucky boy. The more I think of you, the more lovely memories
that surface.
Fourthly, thank you for being my rock. Like everyone we had our rough patches as we traveled through life and things didn't quite got to plan. I can still remember when it was my turn for life to get a little rocky how
happy you were to be able to repay the favour and be my rock (“I never thought
I would be able to return the favour” were your words). Your support, wisdom,
honesty and friendship got me through. I can only hope I was able to give you
just a little of the help you gave me.
Fifthly (is that a word?) Thank you for teaching me the
importance of treasuring those around me, my children, my husband, my family and
friends. Not a day goes by I don’t think of how lucky I am and even though
sometimes it is hard at the end of a day. I try to be thankful for everything
from the tantrums to the triumphs. I don’t always succeed, but I am getting
better. I think of you and your wish to be here and see you children finish
school. It was not a big ask.
And finally I am sorry. Sorry I that I took for granted you
were only a couple of hours away and didn’t visit more. Sorry that I got too
wrapped up in my own little family and our own problems to be a wonderful
friend to you. I have just got myself all sorted and now you are gone and this
devastates me to no end. I have taken this on as a lesson and never again will
I take those close to me for granted.
I miss you already darling girl and I know I always will, but I will talk
to you everyday and check in on your wonderful family. I will not forget the
things I have learnt from your experience or friendship. Love you always and forever until we meet
again. xx
From my beautiful friend's battle I discovered the dire need to increase numbers of people registered on the Australian Bone Morrow Donor Registry. A simple blood test and you could be registered and possibly save a life while you are here now. Please register. It was Anne-Marie's wish that from her battle something positive came about and she had hoped to raise awareness of the need for Bone Marrow Donors.
This is a little more of her story.......
